Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
