You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
