I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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