He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize