The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize