yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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