I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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