what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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