Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
