Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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