Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
