Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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