Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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