We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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