drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
