I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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