But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
