so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
