Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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