Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I need a beard to bite.
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