Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Randomize
