just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
