do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
