don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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