Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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