Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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