Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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