Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
