worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
