You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Can I color on your dick again?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
