I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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