The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Randomize
