She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I am spending my child support on dildos
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
