no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
