Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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