i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
