I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I think I am morally bankrupt
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
