My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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