her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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