Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Randomize
