You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
