Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize