Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
