Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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