i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
