so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
