Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
