At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
