Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
