My boss' voice literally gives me gas
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
