I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
